A Christmas-oriented WIP ... about one minute completed ... what do you think?

• Sep 22, 2016 - 01:47

So far ... “flute, oboe, guitar, and contra-bass.” Intended to be a slightly-dissonant piece in places, but never "commercially unacceptable."   Part-C “TBD™ ...”

Every time I “re-listen to it” these days, well, I just hear “yet-another little handful of notes that I ought to tweak.”   Therefore, this now being the 21st Century, I would kindly ask you for your opinion ...

Guess that what I really need right now is a fresh set of ears . . .

(After all, our Gentle Listener really just wanted to hear another not-too-demanding fluffy little Christmas song . . .)

My overall subjective impression of it is that, right now, it is ... well ... “much too busy.”   That I am “trying too hard.”   That I am innocently putting-in much too many notes, and not goving my Gentle Listener™ enough time to think.   (Kindly chalk-it-up to “beginner’s enthusiasm,” if you agree that this is the case ...)

On the other hand, I really do like some of the ideas that I have lately come up with, such as the “guitar-strum on beat four-and-a-half with a rest on beat-four” that is now featured in part-B.   A wee bit of suspension ... of anticipation ... of the unexpected ... of surprise...

I really do like “a certain element of surprise” in the music that I hear, and I would therefore like to incorporate such things into my own compositions.   To “mix it up a little,” so to speak.   But, at the same time, “this is intended to become a commercial product.”   So, I would like to remain comfortably within the comfort-zone of John Q. Listener’s™ never-stated expectations . . .

I welcome your thoughts.   Your f-i-r-s-t impressions.   Please grab ’em right off your cuff and plop them on to the Internet, unedited.     There are no fragile egos to be found here.   “Fire Away.™ ...”

Attachment Size
Christmas-1.mscz 28.13 KB

Comments

Christmas music is about as formulaic as it gets, and there's nothing in your piece which makes one think 'Christmas'. It's not based on a traditional carol, nor are there lyrics on a Christmas theme, nor is the arrangement particularly Christmassey (brass quintets are big sellers at yuletide, for instance). Remember that virtually all new compositions for the Christmas season are either novelty songs (I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus) or written for a Christmas-themed movie (White Christmas). A simple original instrumental such as yours doesn't fall into any of those categories.

When you write from a commercial point of view, the first question to ask yourself is who would need such a piece for their repertoire. In other words, define your market, and then tailor the composition to its demands.

(After all, our Gentle Listener really just wanted to hear another not-too-demanding fluffy little Christmas song . . .)

If that's the market you're after, then you have to provide the Christmas hook that your 'G.L.' can recognise instantly, without having to think at all. The simplest way to do that is with lyrics. For instance:

Christmas-1 lyrics.mscz

Musically, your chord names don't work in a number of places, so you should look at those more carefully. For instance, in m.2, the chord is a G7 because of the F#s in the guitar and flute parts; in m. 3 the chord is not an F# major chord but is a b minor in second inversion with a passing seventh in the guitar on beat 1.

Note also that it is not usual to slur across a rest as you do in a number of places; a slur indicates the lack of new articulation on the subsequent notes, but if you've stopped playing/singing and then restart after the rest, you have to articulate somehow. If you meant that slur to be a phrase mark, it needs to encompass a full phrase, not just two notes.

Watch out that you do not confuse your listener by leading to one thing and then doing another, as you did in m.10. The cadence at m8 is strong; the new phrase starts well and predictably in m. 9, then in m. 10 you throw in a chord change and eighth-note run that whipsaws the listener away from what you have led him to believe is coming. Yes, you can do that, and it can be effective if you go someplace interesting and handle the transition well, but it does not work for just one measure. It just sounds wrong.

Enough for now. Hope this helps. :)

The project that I have in mind is actually about the equinox-to-winter-solstice season (which has already just started, so I’m late this year ...), not strictly “Christmas.”   Thank you for your detailed comments which I will now digest slowly and carefully.

I'd like to ask a particular follow-on question regarding the following comment:

Watch out that you do not confuse your listener by leading to one thing and then doing another, as you did in m.10. The cadence at m8 is strong; the new phrase starts well and predictably in m. 9, then in m. 10 you throw in a chord change and eighth-note run that whipsaws the listener away from what you have led him to believe is coming. Yes, you can do that, and it can be effective if you go someplace interesting and handle the transition well, but it does not work for just one measure. It just sounds wrong.

Listening strictly to MuseScore's playback, and anxiously re-affirming my present ignorance of such “actual music-score” matters, I guess that I heard the flute and the oboe “passing off” from one to another, between the flute’s last two notes in measure 9, and the oboe’s first two in measure 10.   Am I (ruefully) correct in now thinking that such a thing is not really possible?

Does anyone out there observe other similar “clams” in this piece?

---
I freely admit that I do not come from a music-major background:   I am a computer programmer by trade, and yet, “my first program was eight lines long, took me six months to write, and had a bug in it.”   So it goes.   I’m ready to bear the hard-knocks to learn how to do this.

In reply to by mrobinson

I'm afraid that's a rather broad question, actually. The short answer would be, 'yes, you can do that but you have to understand structure first in order to get away with it.'

In brief, almost every type of music has an underlying structure. High Baroque sonatas use the fast/slow/fast three-movement form for the most part. The two fast movements will often contain three sections, of which the middle one is a modulated variation (in the relative minor/major or the dominant, for instance) of the first theme, and the third section is a recap in the original key, often with virtuoso variations on the first theme to end the movement. The slow middle movement will be shorter--sometimes only two sections--and will likely be written in the relative minor (or major) of the principal key.

Classical symphonies are a bit more complex. They are generally structured in four movments, which will in turn be structured in one of a number of different ways--sonata-allegro design, song and trio design, theme and variations (possibly A-B-A or something similar, such as the fourth movement of the Eroica), a rondo.... Within each of these designs, sub-structural elements such as exposition, development, recapitulation, and coda, are fairly well defined, although it is up to the composer to define each element musically.

A study of music history shows that in highly complex works such as these, written by the major composers of the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, structure is derived from the work rather than vice-versa. One studies what the masters have done, analyses it, and puts salt on its tail, so to speak, in order to understand it better. For an excellent treatise on symphonic structure, try to find a copy of The Symphony and the Symphonic Poem (Earl V. Moore and Theodore E. Heger, Ulrich's Books, Ann Arbor (MI), 1962).

But 'popular' music is another animal entirely. Pop music is by design anything BUT complex, and it is extremely formulaic in both the harmonic and structural spheres. For reasons having as much to do with radio stations' playlist rotations (the infamous 'top forties') as with the limited attention span of the targeted listener, pop songs are generally limted to three minutes and are very, very strictly structured. First verse, chorus, second verse, bridge, third verse, chorus. Each section is almost invariably eight measures long--except for the bridge, which is sometimes only four measures--so total song length is 44-48 measures, and at 60 bpm in 4:4, that comes out to just under 3 minutes.

Why eight measures per verse or section? I don't have a definitive answer. Some 'music psychologists' claim it has something to do with the biorhythms inherent in human beings, but I'm not convinced. The practical answer is the usual one: 'Because it works.' Musical phrases that are eight measures long tend to satisfy uncritical listeners and stick in their memories, and sad to say, the great bulk of the music-buying public is fairly uncritical. If you keep each phrase to eight measures, and don't throw more than three or four chords at them--preferably I, IV, V, and possibly VI, if you're brave and good at what you're doing--you make it easy for them to absorb what you're saying. It's not high art, that's for sure. But that's where the money is, so if you want to write commercial music, learn the formula and stick to it.

In reply to by mrobinson

Self-study--or 'autodidactism', if one wants to show off one's vocabulary--is good. I have dropped out of more colleges and universities than I care to admit, but education doesn't begin and end in those ivy-encrusted ivory towers, nor is it dependent upon a syllabus and a MWF class schedule. It is a continuous process that depends upon the learner's passion for his subject. This is particularly true in the arts. Art is never bound by rules; rather, it creates them without meaning to, after the fact...and those derived rules can then be used by 'ordinary' people in an attempt to understand how a great work of art came to be created, and why it is considered great.

I studied a lot of stuff in school that I didn't appreciate at the time--; and I will freely admit that I haven't thought much about the technical structure of a Classical symphony since Beethoven was a boy. But that early training provided a basis for understanding what later--and earlier--composers did, and why. Fifty years later, I can only thank those long-dead professors (most of whom I absolutely despised at the time!) for having force-fed me what I didn't know I needed to know. ;o)

In reply to by Recorder485

Aye ...   While I did obtain a computer-science degree (as part of the second(!) group of students who had such a degree available to them, “koff koff” decades ago), I learned my craft by doing it ... after college, and before.   (First job = an employee of the aforesaid institution.)   But I have always been driven, first, by a desire to know how things work, and by a genuine fascination with how to make “a tiny silicon chip(!)” do amazing or not-so amazing things.   Yes, I still make my daily bread from one of my life-long hobbies.

I also stuck with my organ lessons, and taught myself how to adapt them to piano.   There are no(!) televisions in our house ... haven’t been, for over thirty years ... but there are always musical instruments.   I would someday like to make a portion of my daily bread from that, too.

Throughout all those years, I bought and read issues of (Contemporary) Keyboard magazine and, as we all probably did, lusted after the toys that I could never afford to buy.   Little could I have dreamed that one day I would own an 88-key controller (picked up for $100 "gently used" at a local music store), a copy of Logic Pro X, and... MuseScore.   (I was originally on a quest to buy scoring software, and had decided to evaluate MuseScore, Sibelius, and Finale.   Well, I stopped at first base.)   It’s still hard to accept that what is in my hands today, leaves all of those pieces of equipment in the shade.   (We live in Interesting Times.™)

I am continuing to revise my effort based on your comments and will soon post the next revision ... having very carefully set-aside the original (which, I think, does contain some very interesting musical ideas) to produce a version with a more conventional structure.   (Several repeats, D.S. al Coda and all of that.)   I am sincerely grateful for your interest and your comments.

In reply to by mrobinson

There are at least a dozen (often many more!) distinct files in this computer of every piece I compose; one never knows which musical idea will wind up being part of the final version, so it makes sense to save your work under different version numbers as you progress.

Since my post the other night, I have given a bit more thought to the question you posed, so here are two (somewhat less technical) observations:

1. Cadences are very powerful things, and a composer ignores or meddles with them at his peril. In your original piece, you have created a strong cadence in m.8 with an implied dominant (D9 chord--a D7 would be even stronger, but...), but the pickup to m.9, which our ears are expecting to lead to the tonic via an F#, unexpectedly modulates to the subdominant using a B natural as the leading tone, putting you in C major...but then doesn't stay there. You're back to the tonic (G major) at the beginning of m. 10, so the listener doesn't know WHAT the heck you're saying harmonically.

2. Ordinary listeners--which is to say, those who do not appreciate or understand complex harmonic or rhythmic structures; IOW your typical pop-music afficionado--expect symmetry in what they hear. When you have a nice, logical cadence at m.4 (which you do), and then wash out the next cadence (at the end of m.8, four bars later), you confuse them and their minds turn off at that point. Ciao, bye, game over.

Simply stated: Keep things symmetrically balanced, and don't lead to a tonality you aren't going to stay with for a structurally appropriate number of measures.

In reply to by Recorder485

I find it very interesting that you focus on ms. 8-10 as such a crucial ("Ciao!") mistake, because I (do not know enough yet, so that I) did not identify it as a problem spot.

Neither did I know enough to interpret the situation as you did in point #1 above.

Many thanks! (He said, scribbling with his electronic pen and scratching his head.) Much to learn... much to learn... this is fun...

In reply to by mrobinson

Sorry for the delay in replying; I've been away for a workshop in medieval music for a few days.

I pointed out the problem in mm.8-10 because it is symptomatic of a common error in composition, that of letting the moment override the whole. It is easy, while in the throes of creativity, to let a clever and potentially elegant device--for instance, passing a musical phrase from one instrument to another--blind one to the overall effect on the piece, and particularly on the listeners. Imagine if you drove up to a stop sign and slowed down as if you were going to stop at it, then turned left instead with no warning because you saw an opportunity to show off how well you can downshift and turn left at the same time. But no matter how snazzily you made that left turn, it could ruin your whole day (or worse!), not to mention that it would make the other drivers around you wonder what the heck you were going to do next.

I have not analysed the entire structure of your piece; I have simply pointed out one typical error so that you can find others on your own.

You have other things to work on, too. Your incorrect chord names indicate a need for a better understanding of basic harmony. I can't give you a whole course in music theory here, but you may find the attached score helpful. I wrote this for a young student of mine who was having trouble with harmony because it had never been explained to him properly in school. Think of it as a primer on harmony that you can use in conjuction with a first-year theory textbook. This is really basic stuff that you must understand.

Harmonic Analysis 101v4.mscz

Note that roman numerals are not used in most published editions (whether they ought to be or not is another question, and I won't go into that here). Instead, it is usual in pop music and jazz to print the root names of the chords in letters, (G7, C, D7, b, etc.) above the melody staff. In jazz, this is essential information for performers who do a great deal of improvising and need to stay within the chord structure the composer has created. However, in pop music the chord names are there to accomodate players who do not read music well (if at all), but can play most basic chords (usually on a guitar or keyboard). In either case, it is important for the composer to transmit the actual harmony required, and to do it properly, so you need to be able to analyse what you have written (in the way explained in that primer), and then translate that into chord names. This is why solfège is (or should be) part of every musician's basic education--so they will understand that a IV chord in F is a B-flat major chord, whereas in C it is an F major chord, while in d it is a g minor chord. (It also gives them the ability to transpose anything to any key on sight, if they practise enough.)

Thanks for the score ... I will study it carefully.

It is certainly true (he said, ruefully ...) that, as a rank beginner, I am trying to put “too much, too quickly,” into one (short) piece of music, leaving no time for a musical idea to develop before pushing right through to another one, resulting in a too-crowded musical train wreck.

Likewise, one can “study music theory” (as I, in fact, have ...), and find that it is what we call “book larnin’” until you actually try it.   Swimming lessons can’t be learned from the pages of a book; only in (the shallow end of) a swimming pool.   I have also re-discovered the importance of:   “stop writing and play it.”   Not with the computer, but with your own two hands.

Again, thank you sincerely for your “thought-provoking comments, freely given,” as I continue to revise.

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