My new song (criticism needed/welcome)

• Jan 24, 2016 - 05:23

Hi, this is my new song. I hope you like it, I honestly think its one of da best things I've ever written. Please help me improve it if you can.

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The Pan.mscz 30.95 KB

Comments

Okay, I will be honest with you here, I will try not to be blunt. (keep that in mind as you read my comment)

Let's see here, I heard a sort of "jammed" medley, of chaos and a little dissonance, along with mary had a little lamb, twinkle twinkle little star, and axel F. Look, it was barely musical. It had quite a bit of dissonances. BTW, you should've made it in the key of ATONAL, that was better suited than the key of G. BTW, the program cannot really play (ppp) that well. When writing atonal pieces, it's important that the notes "fit" or make sense together. (Look up "the bear") That's what makes an atonal piece a good one, otherwise, it will sound a like dissonance, and not be good. I do think you have the skill to be a great composer, you just need to polish the parts. I will give you samples of great pieces by musescore users

For creating a meddly that's improvised:
https://musescore.com/user/110286/scores/185645

For good atonal pieces:
https://musescore.com/user/110286/scores/555406
https://musescore.com/user/183710/scores/1015736

In reply to by Elwin

Wow, thank for your advise! I didn't expect anyone to comment on my work, so this was very gratitude. I love you. So, you say that it should be in the key of ATONAL instead of G. But I really need that F# in there for flava. I want people to know that I can write in a key with master, goodness, and greatness. If I don't write in G, will people get mad at me? People of my works have always told me, "Write in G!! Not F#!!!" or "Write in G!! not in B!" or "Write in G. It's the best key." You're the 1st person to tell me to not write in G. I am gratitude for that. I am liking you for that. I love you. Also, if I call it "pantonal", will I be yelled at? I like it; it implies the musical ideas' center tones transition fluidly and seamlessly into the next, creating a soundscape unlike the one conjured in the mind when referring to the vapid, lackluster connotation of "atonality". If I write and write and right, will truly you think I'll better? Thank you for saying I can be great composer, I gratitude for that. Thank you for the other tips too. I love you. I'm sure they will help me when I great compose :)

In reply to by Headache99

For an atonal key accidentals are encouraged. (the literal definition of atonal is not based on any particular key. For piano, it's based on whole steps) I'm not exactly sure how much psychological abuse people have given you in regards to music. Atonal is notated as the same key as C. Also, people can't be the one to decide how you are going to express your talent in music. It sounds to me that people are trying to bring you down. Also, Pantonal can work for a title. I don't think people will yell at you for that. Oh, I'm not telling you to not write in G. I'm telling you to write in your own key. I'm saying the piece is more of an atonal piece.

Also, do accept the fact that you can't expect to please everyone with your music. There will come people who would want to bring you down. The key advice is to not listen to them. Now, if you want to first start composing, you should start simple. I know it's hard, but it will eventually help develop a skill. One of my first piano pieces, It was pretty simple. I hate it actually, I'm not going to lie. However, my sister loved it and she keeps pestering me to bring it back out. That's one example where two people can have different opinions.
Here is my list of things that you should study to give you a lot of aid in composing.
1) musical keys
2) chords and chord progressions
3) your favorite genre of music and all its elements.

Now, when you've studied them, why don't you start by writing your own tune and then maybe arrange it for piano. I'll be sure to critique it as soon as possible.

*I know starting simple sucks, but it's how the good guys start.

In reply to by Headache99

Honest, but not blunt. keep that in mind.
Okay, I heard quite a bit of repetition of so much C arpeggios. Oh, by the way, there is really no sense in adding decimal points to tempo markings. That only irritates the metronome and other people. When something is labeled 80 in tempo, that means 80 beats per minute. part of a beat per minute would throw a lot of things off. It seems that you only looked up the c major chord. Have you thought about looking up the G7, or F major? Several other chords would make D F A and B make sense in the piece. I can tell you are trying to write something that's insane, pretty hard, and epic. If you were to look at my upload list, you can see I have two of that in there. The clowns was the only piece where It earned its musicality. Showdown is a prime example that It's better to avoid writing pieces like that lest one gets carried away and wrecks a piece. Those two pieces requires more than a decade of musical training and experience to write. Even then, only one came out good. I told you this as advice before, start simple.

Also, I can kind of tell that you're trying to troll, something about the tone of the way you write these forum posts indicates it.

In reply to by Elwin

Yeah, I guess putting C chord everywhere made it kinda boring and such. I thought using only 3 notes would make it sound really pure and new age. I'm trying to be like my idol Shoenberg (Schoenberg?) and I like this a whole lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v26G0pX86Po. It made me happy as if it were my birthday (lol). And this too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUzI3Ui1Eok. I showed this song to my sister and she said that it was a "great song". But now I think that if I write more chords like you're saying, it will be a better song. I'll try again...

Okay, it was really quick because it sounds like Schoenberg sometimes throws random notes together so I did that in the beginning. I took off a lot of the irratating arpeggios like you said but kept some for the flava. I looked up F major and G and copied some in there too. I took off the decimal points on the tempo things and took out any slow parts and added more notes for the epics. Also, I found this funny thing called an appoggiaturra and used it here.

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The Toaster v2.0.mscz 35.29 KB

In reply to by Headache99

Okay, appoggiaturra is either long or short. Providing it has a line through it, it's the short kind. You play it pretty quickly. (musescore plays it back pretty accurately). In happy music, the short appoggiaturra is like a little "sparkle". In sad music, it can be like a sob hiccup or a "voice breaking" when the person's about to cry. It seems like you lack knowledge of certain music theory. The best thing for you is to improve in your music theory skills. Look up chord progressions. I do know the famous one for pop music, but I'm not going to share it because of personal reasons that I will not speak about right now.

In reply to by Pentatonus

Well, if you really like pi, why don't you assign pitches for each single number (1-9). there are twelve pitches in total, including chromatic. Then, you type out the pi value, 3.14159... (giving each of the numbers from 1-9 a specific note), and then you create a little jingle.

Okay!! This is probably the last rendition of this piece I'll make, I researched a lot and found a weird thing called syncopation and I found more chords and theory stuffs. Thanks for all your help!

I wrote a poem for this occasion:
Music go lalala
Poem for this occasion
Do re mi fa so la la
Poem sweeps the nation
La ti do do bird is extinct
Poem gone so fast you shouldn't blink.
Meet the bird at ice skating rink
Poem is Poem is is Edgar Alan Poem
The bird goes lalala
Poem for this nation
Do re mi fa so so so?
Poem is persuasion
La ti do Rey sees Luke Skywalker
Poem is Poem is Poe Dameron
Toaster goes Pop!
And breakfast we have!!

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The Toaster v3.0.mscz 40.55 KB

In reply to by Headache99

More variety, I'll have to say, this doesn't really need anymore work. I liked it, I thought it was a lot better than your original post. Now, Syncopation is emphasizing a different beat besides the starting ones. In 4/4 the starting beats emphasized are ONE-two-THREE-four. In 3/4, the beats emphasized are ONE-two-three. In 2/4, the beats emphasized are ONE-two. In 6/4 or 6/8, the beats emphasized are ONE-two-three-FOUR-five-six. Syncopation emphasizes other beats for 4/4 time: one-AND-and-three-AND-and. I would look up more music theory and learn more.

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