Opera idea. Need some feedback

• Oct 19, 2018 - 21:10

So I was just thinking of things off the top of my head for fun because I was bored, but then I came up with an idea for a libretto and I thought, “Hold on. This actually is a great idea.” Thing is, I’m not sure if it is. I’m just thinking wildly, and would probably never be able to write an opera given how complex they are. But I just thought of an interesting story, and I want to know if it’s interesting.

So I would call it The Judgement of Salazar. It follows the main character Salazar Buressi, a cruel rapist and murderer of women. The story takes place in Rome, maybe late 18th century. It starts on a dark night a little after the sunset. It follows a woman walking down the empty street talking to herself, apparently trying to get home. Then Salazar kidnaps her by holding a knife to her throat, takes her behind a building, and prepares to abuse her. However, she fights back and grabs the knife from his hands and stabs him in the stomach. He quickly snaps her neck to prevent her from escaping. Salazar stumbles onto the street and dies.

He gets sent to Hell and is greeted by Satan. The Devil is excited to have such a horrible person in his presence, and sentences him to the most brutal torture for eternity for his crimes. Salazar begs him to let him go free, and promises he will amend his ways if he does. Satan obviously doesn’t think he can, so after a lot of persuading, he plays a game with Salazar. He agrees to let him temporarily return to the mortal world, but he must prove that he can change. He must find a woman whom he loves and she loves him in return, and they must be married within half a year. If he does, then he’ll allow him to go to heaven since his death is irreversible in the first place.

Salazar returns to his home unharmed, and vows to be successful. He thanks the Devil for his forgiveness and promises he won’t fail. He then goes to bed for the night. The scene then cuts to the street the where Salazar and the woman died, several hours later, still nighttime. It shows a Roman guard supposedly searching for someone. he stumbles upon the woman’s body, and upon closer inspection, he realizes it’s the woman he has been searching for. He cries and is mortified that he found her dead. He notices the knife she used to kill Salazar laying next to her corpse, he picks it up and finds Salazar’s name engraved on the handle. He carries the knife and the woman’s body to Emperor Motili’s palace.

when he presents the body to him, it’s revealed that the woman was the emperors daughter Angela, who would often disguise herself as a commoner so she could roam the city without the fear of being kidnapped and ransomed. He mourns for his daughter and his sadness turns to rage. The guard shows him the knife, and so the emperor orders that every guard is to search for Salazar and bring him back alive so he can execute him personally.

Salazar awakes the next day ready to find the love of his life. He spends much of the day goofing off and drinking, but soon finds a sign that demands anyone familiar with a Salazar Buressi to bring him alive to the emperor to be executed, as punishment for the under of Angela Motili. Salazar becomes frightened; he had been able to stay off the radar for a long time, but now that the emperor was involved, he became deathly afraid. He then sees a Roman troop battalion marching down the street, obviously looking for him. He dashed to a nearby house and bangs on the door. A young pretty woman named Maria answers and he puts a knife to her throat and forces himself in. He demands that she is to grant him protection from the emperors troops or he will kill her. After a brief quarrel she reluctantly agrees.

A lot of what’s next is undecided, but eventually he begins to fall for her, and she starts to respect him. Satan has been watching all these events unfold from Hell, and he gets very angry at Salazar’s imminent success. He then devised a plan to get him to fail. He goes to the mortal world and disguised himself as a commoner. He goes to the emperors palace and provides information on Salazar’s exact location. The emperor thanks him and sends all his troops to the woman’s house.

The next day, Salazar plans to confess his love for her, but he’s interrupted by the Roman guards breaking into Maria’s home. They flee quickly and are chased down. He pulls out his knife and kills them. He and Maria escape to Vienna. Now that they are safe, he plans to tell her he loves her and ask for her hand in marriage. Before he can though, Satan appears between them. He then laughs and tells Salazar his time is up and it’s time for him to go to Hell. Salazar once again begs to give him some more time and that he was about to tell her he loves her. Satan just laughs and grabs Salazar by the foot and drags him through a portal to hell. He pleads for Maria to save him and she tries but he disappears through the portal. She weeps and cries for him. Then in a desperate atttemlt to be with him she goes back to Rome, sneaks into the emperors palace and kills him in his sleep. She then takes his head to the guards and presents it as a prize so that they will kill her for murdering Motili. She knows that her actions will send her to hell, which is the only way she can be with Salazar again. The opera then comes to an end with her about to be decapitated by the Royal exexutioner. And she yells to Salazar that she is coming for him. The curtains close as the executioner swings the axe, and close completely before the audience can see her being killed.

Just a thought off the top of my head.


Comments

Extremely interesting idea and what you would expect from an opera. I don't know every opera, but it does seem to be unique. I could never write a libretto for something like this, but would be more than willing to be part of composing it and contribute ideas to fill in gaps. It seems it would have a wide variety of tradgedy, irony, mischief, romance... every thing a good Opera Seria needs.

OK, so we've got Scrooge, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Romeo and Juliet in here with maybe a touch of Sweeny Todd thrown in and a nod to Faust.

Rapist and murderer is probably not going to be accepted by audiences or producers. Make him a thief, a con-man, a bad factory boss, a financier.

Dead girls are not cool - but maybe he falls for a girl that has been adversely affected by his actions (laid off from his factory, lost her home because of a bad loan or whatever). He initially tries to hide his past self from her but then confesses and he gradually earns her respect and then love.

The Devil has to play by the rules. He can only act on timescale, actions not performed etc. Sure, he can try to throw a spanner in the works when it looks like he is losing but he can't just turn up and drag the guy down into Hell. He needs to present his fait accompli to our Hero (/anti-Hero) who has to relectantly agree that he is doomed.

Our Heroine must then realise that she actually loves the guy. I don't think she can get away with beheading somone - possibly better that she “admits” to a crime that she didn't actually commit. Then, just before she is beheaded herself, new evidence is presented and she is exonerated. But, becasue she has proved selfless yada yada yada, our hero get spared and they all live happily ever after.

The Devil has been defeated on this occasion but can malevolently hint that he will do an Arnie and “be back”. --- hey, there's your sequel for 2023.

In reply to by underquark

The anti-hero needs to be obviously deserving of hell or the entire story falls apart. I was questioning myself if a Jack the Ripper type person were the way to go. Today, simply being a philanderer is not considered worthy of hell in most peoples minds. Perhaps he could be involved in an affair and kills his lover or her husband while being killed by the other. I think that if the heroine were to stab someone to death, it would not ruin the story. She could sing an aria about how she is determined to be with her love for eternity, even if it means going to hell to be with him. She could then murder someone who is not well liked but not worthy of death due to anything he or she has done. Murder is a very obvious sin worthy of hell in the mind of most audience members. As for what the devil does, dragging the anti-hero by his heels, this would add some humor to the otherwise dreary story, but there is probably a better way to take him to hell and possibly even a way to make it humorous. The ending with the curtain coming down with the sound of an axe or guillotine would be very dramatic, so I lean more towards a murder and execution for the heroine.

In reply to by underquark

I do appreciate your advice, but I do not agree with a fair amount of it and here’s why:

I honestly don’t care about “conforming with society.” If the people are too sensitive to listen to an opera the attempted redemption of a rapist, then that’s their problem. Look at Don Giovanni. He raped the Commanders daughter and killed him when he challenged him to a duel. People loves it then, and people love it today. That’s why it’s still being played.

Dead girls are dramatic, and easy to sympathize with. It demonstrates how undeserving of life Salazar is. and as the story progresses, he goes from the villain to the redeemed hero, which is a powerful change in the audiences perspective on him.

The Devil does play by the rules. He only acts with Divine Intervention, just like God. He can’t kill anyone, he can only intervene. That’s why he tells the emperor Salazar’s location and doesn’t just kill him himself: he can’t. And he struck a deal with Salazar, granting him the right to take him immediately when his time is up, no earlier.

I’ll figure out a way to develop their love for each other in the middle where I said it was all undecided. Also, this is a dramatic opera. Not a fairy tale. I’m not going to have that cheesy happily-ever- after ending. The opera should end with a bang, and I want it to be an impactful twist, which is her dying so she can join Salazar in hell. But I’m definitely not using a cop out so she can still live. I’m dead set on her dying by her hopeless longing.

This isn’t a movie dude. This is opera. You don’t make sequels to operas. None of these “I’ll be back” or ”I will return” cliches. You write an opera, tell a story, end it, and leave your mark on history. Operas aren’t Hollywood blockbusters.

I could not help notice on your page that one of your scores is the Roman Carnival Overture by Hector Berlioz. For this insane scenario I could not help but wonder if your inspiration might be the work of Hector Berlioz. A glance at his life may suggest to you that this scenario could have happened to him. As I read your story I could hear several excerpts from the Symphonie Fantastique. (If I recall, our hero looses his head in that one, too!)

Not for gratuitous criticism I'd make a suggestion or two. It is not clear who the hero is or from whose point of view the action will take place. This is necessary as the audience needs to care about someone, and, of course, despise someone else. Buressi seems a bit too crafty, which is great for a villain. Maria is a victim. (Substitute the word "struggle" for "quarrel" when they encounter. After all, what is there to quarrel about? He's got the knife.) The audience could identify with her, though you'd need an ironclad justification for her falling for this knave. Perhaps a redeeming quality she has discovered? This could be explained in her aria.

Assuming Buressi is a baritone, Satan a bass and Maria a mezzo: Throw in a tenor for levity, say Vituccio, a friend or cousin of Maria who is afraid of his own shadow (somewhat like Don Giovanni's Leporello). You could have fun with this character.

You could add another tragic character, say, Maria's Aunt Lucrezia (soprano) who is overcome by it all and throws herself off a bridge. An operatic biggie! Good way to end Act II.

Important. Don't forget the chorus. This happens in Italy, right? That's where opera originated (in Naples). In Italian opera even the slightest intrigue becomes the business of the e n t i r e n e i g h b o r h o o d! The chorus might consist of men on street corners and women hanging out of windows offering their unsolicited opinions.

A problem. In order for Maria to fulfill her objective she must get into Hades. But she does so buy killing the freakin' emporer!. Then she's seen walking around Rome with his head like Diogenes carrying his lamp. I think you loose audience sympathy with that. Maybe you could have her go mad and throw herself off a bridge! (It worked for Tchaikovsky.) The Church then condemns her to hell because suicide is a mortal sin, you gain more audience sympathy from her suicide as well as her continuing misfortune, and Satan now has to deal with an unexpected lodger. It works out, like an isosceles triangle.

Just a thought. I got tired of pushing 32nd notes around MuseScore and I thought I'd make a few suggestions. I do not recall an opera seria where there were no characters either hyper-sensitive or just plain nuts. Sounds like fun.

Good luck.

I like all of this. The rapists victim kills him? Awesome? Devilish bet? Also good. The woman he falls in love with turns out to also be morally compromised, and kills the emperor to go to hell? Best.

It subverts expectations all over the place - expectations I find toxic - and comes out with a surprising and more character correct story.

Women redeeming the bad guy, I don't like. This I like. You'd have to Dexter it a bit - keep your protagonist a villain. I'd be really interested in the girlfriend's arc.

In reply to by Beethoven Unleashed

brings to mind Orpheus and the under world. perhaps a heart warming ending would be that god takes mercy on them rescuing them from hell with more tasks to perform to show their worthiness as a continued sequence to their attempts at redemption. spending some time in purgatory first maybe. ok so if you take all of the ideas i think you would be pushing 3.5 hours. actually i would not change a thing but you can, i think it is good material that i hope will take on a life of its own all things considered. if i can be so bold i have a piece that shifts moods from light to dark listen to it if you like its only a few minutes long

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